Sexy Was Never Gone
by Aya Marie-chan
Summary: Sasuke's back with a bang. And some sexy.[Oneshot][Weird fic][May insult characters][May cause brain damage or mental scarring][You have been warned]


Sexy Was Never Gone

Yeah, when I got the idea for this very... unique story I was cleaning and I seriously think that the fumes of the cleaning products were affecting my head.

This isn't meant ot bash any characters, so please take no offense. If I bash anyone, it was Sasuke, and he's my second-favortie character on the show!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto sobs and I don't own the song Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake

Well, enjoy!

xX Aya Marie-chan

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All of Konoha was whispering as they read the announcement board in the center of the village. They were all pondering about what it meant. It stated that it was required for the entire village to be present at the village's gate at precisely 6:00 P.M. the next day, and for Kakashi to be there at 3:00 P.M., meaning that he would most likely arrive at approximately 6:00 P.M. All missions were cancelled or postponed just so that every villager could be there.

Eventually everyone agreed that they would go to the gate, after wondering what this could all be about. However, it's not like they had a choice, it was _required_. So they all continued on with their daily duties, secretly contemplating what could possibly be so important that it was mandatory for the entire village to be there… And it was such a peculiar spot to hold a meeting.

At 5:45 P.M., the day the meeting was to be held, Kakashi arrived at his destination- the village gate. He was just about to use his usual excuse of getting lost on the road of life when he realized that nobody was there. Kakashi sighed heavily, believing that people got sick of waiting for him and left. He turned to leave just when crowds of people began running loudly into the cleared area in front of the village gate.

Sakura, who was standing with Naruto, Yamato and Sai at the front of the group, shouted in a shocked voice, "Kaka-sensei? No way… This is impossible! This _must _be the Armageddon! Kaka-sensei is _early_! This is an omen that a devastating catastrophe is about to occur…" Sadly, Sakura was correct, this day was destined to permanently scar several minds.

Kakashi walked over to join two of students. He stood there casually, disregarding Sakura's slightly insulting statements. However, Kakashi momentarily admired Sakura's use of impressively large words.

"Well… I got lost on the road of life as usual… But it seems that today, everyone is just a little more lost than me… Which, by the way, is quite frightening!" Kakashi beamed at Sakura from under his mask. Sakura just sweat-dropped at her sensei's optimism.

The entire time, Naruto was silent and was wearing a mournful expression. His silence was yet another foreboding sign of a horrifying event happening in the near future; Naruto doesn't even know the meaning of the word silent. Naruto was depressed because he had to leave an unfinished bowl of ramen at Ichiraku's.

"That was only my eighth bowl of ramen, and it wasn't even FINISHED! What is wrong with the world?" Naruto cried out melodramatically in despair.

Sai insulted stoically, with a hint of smugness in his voice, "Hey, Dickless Wonder, do everyone a favor and shut up. Oh, and Hag, quit your ranting about the end of the world…"

"Hey Sai, I suggest that you shut your mouth, since you're going to be the 'dickless' one once I done with you," Sakura smirked evilly while pulling out a kunai to do her dirty work. Those words weren't a threat; they were about to be words of action. Sai would have been petrified had he attained the ability to properly experience emotions.

Both Sakura and Naruto were about to lunge at Sai for revenge as Kakashi and Yamato watched with amused expressions, when where all of the villagers were standing went dark. It wasn't necessarily pitch-black, but it was certainly hard to see. On alert, all of the ninjas among the villagers assumed their defensive stances.

Suddenly, music began to play and a spotlight showed in the center of the gateway. The music sounded strikingly familiar… It sounded like… Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake?

By now, everyone was thinking the exact same thing- what kind of sick joke is this? Either that or, could these people have possibly picked worse music to torture my ears with?

Out into the center of the spotlight stepped… _Sasuke_? But it couldn't possibly be him, right? Since he was off on his pretty little quest for power and revenge which he ditched everyone for…

If everyone thought they were surprised by his presence, the crappy music, and the jutsu that dimmed the lights, they were _very_ wrong. Everyone halfway expected him to start doing hand seals or whip out some kunai and shuriken. However, he did something that no one in his or her right mind would have suspected- he began to dance.

By then, people were so astounded that some of them began to go into shock-induced cardiac arrest. No one was sure what to do as the bass thumped through their bodies and the ground vibrated from the loud sound.

"I'm bringin' sexy back," echoed in their heads as their minds futilely attempted to process what was happening. As they gaped at the Uchiha prodigy, they realized that he wasn't too bad at dancing. In fact, he was actually quite good.

Sasuke was dancing hip-hop-style. He even managed to successfully include some break dancing.

As he danced on, nobody uttered a single word. Everyone was too dumbfounded to even think correctly, they just stared confoundedly at the Uchiha as he moved fluidly with the music.

When the music ended, Sasuke posed with his arms crossed and a smirk plastered proudly on his face. The light returned and the spotlight faded, revealing two Sound-nin standing next to Sasuke- one with a boom box, the other with a spot light.

Stepping out of his pose, Sasuke announced, "That's right, Sexy's back!" At this, all of his fan girls squealed in delight. Everyone else was still stunned silent.

Sai scoffed, "I came here to watch the traitor _attempt_ to do some corny dance to shitty music? Talk about a ridiculous waste of time…" As Sai said this, Neji forcefully worked his way through the mobs of villagers.

"Excuse me, but I beg to differ. Sexy was never gone," Neji amended in a offended voice as his shiny, soft, lustrous… well you get the point, hair flew gracefully in the wind behind him dramatically. Several girls nodded in agreement when they saw Neji's display of beauty.

"Fear not, Hyuuga. Perhaps some day you will have aquired the ability to master your hidden dancing talents… That is if you have any to master. Anyways, you had best begin practicing now if you want to have any chance of even matching my level," Sasuke advised in a falsely sweet voice as he walked over to Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Kakashi, and Yamato.

They all just stared at Sasuke as if he were some sort of abomination to humanity. Sai walked away. Yamato followed Sai. Kakashi nonchalantly whipped out his orange porno book. Sakura shook with internal laughter, which was threatening to escape because of Sasuke's dance. And Naruto beamed happily at his best friend, completely oblivious to his previous actions.

"Well, Sasuke-teme, what new jutsu did you learn in Sound? You have to tell me everything!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly.

Sasuke chuckled, "Dobe, the only techniques I learned at Sound were _dance _techniques. Yes, I was skeptical at first too, but it was for the best. I realized that I'm hopeless at beating my brother in a true battle, but I could take him down any day in a dance off!" Now Naruto was pointing at Sasuke as he laughed his head off and muttered something about this "being hilarious."

However, Sakura didn't share Naruto's reaction of being amused, in fact she looked furious. She was actually cracking her knuckles and she had a very terrifying glisten in her eyes. The last signal needed to complete the task of angering Sakura to her fullest capabilities is for her to roar…

"SHANNARO!"

Sasuke was about to dance away from the area, but she already had an iron grip on his shirt. Scary hardly covers how Sakura looked in that moment.

"You left me heartbroken and unconscious on a bench so you could do the Cha-cha with a freakish pedophile and his nerdy sidekick? Consider yourself in the afterlife, Uchiha," Sakura growled.

Luckily for Sasuke, Tsunade was quick enough to intervene before any damage could be done to his pretty face.

"Now, now, Sakura. I thought you would be happy that your one and only true love has returned- and of his own will! In fact, that was the only reason I held this… conference. He stated that the only way he would return was if everyone was present at the time of his entrance…" Tsunade sweat dropped.

A "how troublesome" was heard from the crowd, followed by a voice screeching, "SASUKE-KUN!" Of course, Kakashi simply ignored all of the unfolding events, instead giggling as he read his perverted book. Lee and Gai were sobbing about how youthful everyone was, mainly Sasuke and Neji. Sakura practiced breathing exercises as she attempted to control her raging temper. Naruto rambled on about ramen and becoming Hokage. Sasuke smirked and called Naruto his usual "dobe." And things went on as normal, if you could call this normal, that is. And this ends another… _special_ day in the Hidden Village of Konoha.

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I hope you enjoyed it!!!

Oh, and for my other stories- you can expect updates by Tuesday!

Thanks for reading!

xX Aya Marie-chan


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